January 04, 2012

Lifestyle: The Fuck–et List

Ever seen that film with Morgan Freeman and Jack Nicholson, The Bucket List? No, me neither. But I’ve heard it’s about two old boys doing things they want to do before they both buy the farm, nice idea. Why do you have to wait until you’re about to cop it to do all these things though? Why not just think ‘Fuck it, I’ll do that today!’ So, I’ve created the Fuck-et list, a list of 10 things that I WILL do as soon as money/time/circumstance allows. You might want to do them too.

10. Give a homeless person all the money in your wallet.

I don’t remember much of New Years Eve/Early New Years day but I do remember stumbling through town on my way home at just after 4 when I came across a homeless man, hiding in a doorway. My two mates walked right past him and I was about to when I stopped and looked at him for a second, he looked back at me and I felt genuinely sorry for him.
I opened my wallet and saw I had £15 left, I wanted food and thought I may have to get a taxi back so I handed him my fiver and wished him a good New Year. He thanked me and asked me for a cigarette, I didn’t have any. Now looking back I wish I’d emptied my wallet into his hands. I didn’t need that food, he needed food, and we ended up walking home anyway. Everyone is down on their luck at some point in their life, some more than others, but if you’re ever in that position you’d like to find someone who did that for you. You don’t NEED that new jacket or new pair of trainers anyway.

9. Spend a grand on a round of drinks

You could say this ones a bit dumb but what better way to treat your mates then to go all out and buy them some quality alcohol on a night out. No VK’s or Cider and blacks or Vodka Cokes I’m talking Moet, Grey Goose and 60 year old Whiskey. You’ll all get hammered and, at the start at least, you’ll be able to taste the quality of what you’re necking. You’ll be remembered as a legend and if you don’t get laid when you’re dancing around with a bottle of Grey Goose in each hand you need to take a long hard look at yourself.

8. Gamble enough money on red or black that it could change your life (for better or for worse)
Gambling is a funny thing, truth be told the casino’s almost always win in the long run, otherwise there wouldn’t be so many of them. But say you were to walk into a casino once in your life and place money (however much is up to you) on either red or black and wait for the spin. Now your odds of winning are just below 50/50 (thanks to that cunting 0) but the payout is double what you’ve put down. I get enough adrenaline when I put down a tenner but when you really are gambling a life changing sum of money on one turn of pitch and toss I imagine you would be buzzing your tits off. And just imagine if you won? You could knock number 9 on the head that evening. If you lost however…

7. Swim with sharks (without a cage if you’ve got the minerals)GWS12
Swimming with sharks is something I’ve wanted to do since I can remember. Being that close to raw killing power would be scary as shit but also unbelievably exhilarating. I would however recommend the use of a cage, they don’t even always guarantee your safety though. To go outside the cage is next level, but just think of the Facebook profile picture you’d get!!! If sharks aren’t your thing there’s always… crocs.

6. Go on safari

Another thing I’ve always wanted to do, seeing the big 5 in a zoo or safari park just wouldn’t be the same as seeing them in their natural habitat. Combine that with the fact you get to visit a great country (as long as you stay out of Johannesburg) and the fact that you may get some footage like this then you have no reason not to go. 

5. Travel Route 66, alone

Route 66 is one of the most iconic sections of road in the world, it covers 2448 miles of America and goes through 8 U.S. states. To travel it at all would be a brilliant experience but to do it alone would be on another level. The things you would see and the people you would meet when you could stop wherever you wanted, talk to anyone you liked would stay with you forever. Hell, you might even like somewhere you find so much you can tick number 2 off the list as well.

4. Fly a fighter jet

Self explanatory really, every lad has at some point in their lives wanted to be a fighter pilot, usually after watching Top Gun. You can even participate in ‘dog fights’ if you’ve got the coin.

3. See The Northern Lights

I don’t know if any of you watched Lapland over the Christmas holidays. (yes it was shit, I was half cut and still didn’t laugh.) However part of the less than mediocre storyline was how one of the party wanted to get photos of The Northern Lights to beat his work colleague (who was called Gary Manilow, I know, hilarious) at his own picture taking game. After seeing this I did some research into them to find out what actually made them happen. Apparently they are “caused by the collision of energetic charged particles with atoms in the high altitude atmosphere (thermosphere). The charged particles originate in the magnetosphere and solar wind and, on Earth, are directed by the Earth's magnetic field into the atmosphere.” (Thanks Wikipedia) If that explanation doesn’t make you think ‘Wtf? I need to see this’ then hopefully this video will.

2. Live outside the home country

Go anywhere, absolutely anywhere where you weren’t brought up. And no Wales doesn’t count if you were born in England. Preferably they shouldn’t speak your language and they should have pretty different customs to where you’re from. Also I’d choose somewhere warm but if you’re from somewhere warm then you might want to try somewhere cold for once. Even if it’s just for 6 months you will learn and experience so much that’s different from what you know and you will be changed forever, for the better.

1. Go to space

”Ha, ridiculous” I hear you say, “Only astronauts and trillionaires go into space". Well at the moment that may be true but not too long into the future Virgin will be making charter flights into the final frontier in the form of Virgin Galactic. And at $200,000 it’s still asshole tighteningly expensive. But is it too ridiculous to think that in 50 years time, when I’ll be 70, a flight into space wont cost much more than a luxury cruise does now, I don’t think so.

1 comment:

  1. I'd like to be out with you when you spend a grand on a round of drinks...